Category Archives: Personal Life Reflections

Personal Reflections on My Romantic Life

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I have a tendency to get too comfortable too soon. This works well for me in some ways because I make friends easily. But when it comes to my romantic life, it kills the romance. I leave no mystery. Time and time again, I feel closer to the person than they feel to me. Why? Because I’ve opened up more than they have. The result resembles a one sided relationship in that I feel stronger towards the person than they do towards me. The person senses this and hits me with the, “I’m not ready for a relationship” line. By which they mean, “I’m not ready for a relationship with you,” which is understandable, since I haven’t exactly given them any rightful choice in the matter. By that point, I’m already acting as if we are in one.

Sigh. At least my acknowledging the issue is a step in the right direction, right?

My Husband List

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I think it’s important that we define what we are looking for in a life partner. As with most things in life, if we don’t know what we’re looking for than how can we expect to find it? Here is a simple list that I have come up with of the things I am most looking for in a man. I encourage anyone who has not written such a list to try it. Not only is it fun to think about, but it can be a useful tool in the dating game. We all know it is easy to be blindsided by love, ignore red flags, and end up with someone whom you know isn’t right for you. Maybe a list can save us single folks some trouble in the future…

Here’s my personal list:

–       God Fearing

–       Spiritual

–       Intellectual – loves to think concepts and talk deep

–       Educated and well travelled

–       A calm temperament and handles stress well

–       Consistent and stable

–       Solid work ethic

–       Disciplined in living a life of integrity – what does he do when no one is looking?

–       Humble- thinks of others more than he thinks of himself

–       Pursues me passionately

–       Gets along well with my family and friends

–       Can make me laugh no matter what mood I’m in – This one is key. A man who can make me laugh when I’m having a bad day is invaluable.

Related articles

Why I Love Writing

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To me, writing has always come either in the form of Divine revelation, which floats off the tongue like air, or a purging of the soul, which vomits itself out of the pen and on to paper. Yet both are equally beautiful expressions of self. One being directly from God, the Holy Spirit who lives in us. And the other being indirectly from God, as my earthly mind struggles between what the world tells it and what I know to be True. In either case, writing has always had a spiritual element, which, whether floating or vomiting, ultimately serves to bring me closer to God.

The Darkness of Black Friday

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Does anybody else find it a bit disconcerting that Black Friday occurs the day after thanksgiving? It’s like a big middle finger from the advertising world to us. As if they can’t stand to see us spend a day in gratitude feeling content with everything we have, so they use the very next day to remind us of all the things we don’t. Typical consumer culture- refusing to let us feel satisfied despite “satisfaction” being among their favorite promises.

Advice from My Father

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At the ripe, young age of 24, I asked my father for his advice on seeking a career. He told me if he could do things differently, he would have been more strategic and selective in choosing his career path, rather than taking whatever came his way and running with it. This seems to be the trend of our time: People letting life happen to them instead of making the life they want happen. We see it all the time. Adults having mid life crises, wondering how in the world they got to where they are.

But there’s a flip side. Trying too hard to make the life you imagine happen can hold you back from the life you were destined to have. You can become so paralyzed by the standards you’ve set for yourself that you often feel as though you’re making no progress at all. Unable to choose between open doors because you don’t know where any particular one will take you.

This is where faith comes in. Faith coupled with action yields results. It’s not enough to sit back and let life happen to you, as the entire universe is devoted to your distraction. But at the same time, it is neither wise nor productive to try so hard to control your future that you end up missing your destiny. As with everything in life, a balance is key.

I’m Thankful for You

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The outpouring of love and support since the tragedy has been breathtaking. I am so grateful for each and every person who has reached out, from strangers to family, you’ve each helped me in a unique way all your own. My world was snatched like a rug from underneath my feet on June 11, 2012 when I lost my best friend and the love of my life. Since then, my life has changed dramatically. Everything that I thought I knew, all of our plans, our future, our dreams, they had to adjust. And that takes time. But today, I’m happy to say my feet are finally back on the ground. Although my knees shake, today, I stand. Nothing can fill the huge gap in my heart that now exists but that’s the beautiful part, I’m learning to live with this opening, to embrace it. It’s where our memories live, our love, and his spirit. It is this daring, fearless, and gentle spirit that I will continue to imitate in my own life. His absence has gone through me like a thread. Everything I do is stitched with his color.

Workaholics

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I am an admitted workaholic. My drive to succeed is relentless, compulsory, and at times unnerving. I have noticed that I am never satisfied. And I don’t think that I ever will be. As soon as one goal is accomplished there is instantly another higher goal in its place. By work alone, I will never be satisfied, I realize. While this focus and drive is perhaps a strength of mine, it is also by far my greatest weakness. Work can be a distraction from the Real Satisfier if we aren’t careful. For the workaholics among us, may we always aim not to worship our work but to instead use our work as worship.

A Letter to my Family

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So I just thought I should tell you all how grateful I am for each of you. You guys are truly my angels on Earth. Together, and in your own unique ways, you guys have lifted me up and carried me during a storm through which I otherwise would not have been able to walk. I’m confident God placed me in your hands knowing that you were each uniquely capable of holding me just how I needed to be held, when the time came to do so. I only hope I can be there for you in the way that you all have been there for me…

An Encounter at Starbucks

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This morning I went to a Starbucks drive thru. When I got to the window to pay, I recognized the woman by the register. Usually a cheerful lady, today she seemed down. I asked her how her day was going. “You don’t seem your usual chipper self,” I said. She went on to tell me how yesterday she was in the hospital for a sinus infection and she’s still feeling a bit in the dumps. I expressed empathy, “Sinus infections are the worst. I hope you feel better soon,” and handed her my money. She gave it back and replied with a smile, “Your drink’s on me today.”

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The point is, kindness begets further kindness. And you never know how a simple expression of care might affect someone on any given day. My day was made too. An exchange of kindness between two people is priceless.

June 11, 2013. A Year Looking Back.

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Hard to believe today marks a year. A year of pain, longing and questions but also a year of healing, growth and indescribable grace. I question whether we can fully comprehend the sweetness of life without first experiencing its bitterness. Today, as I miss my best friend like always, all I can think is what an incredibly sweet gift it was to do life with him. I treasure every memory.