Some people spend their whole life waiting to live.
Waiting to love.
Waiting to create.
Waiting to move.
Waiting to apply for that job they always dream of.
Waiting to start that business they envision.
Waiting until they’re ready.
It’s not uncommon for people to spend their lives in this way; waiting to live.
I trust you.
I know you know how to get things done. How to engage yourself with the world and then retreat.
You can eat when you’re hungry and sleep when you’re tired. You know how to shower, clean up, and pay your bills on time.
You know how to say “no” and how to say “yes” and when to do both.
You can let the right people in and show the wrong people out.
You know how to ask for help. And company when you need it.
You know how to forgive yourself. Stand by yourself. Be close to the people you choose.
This is your adventure. Your life. You got this.
You’re in charge and I trust you.
There is no way of knowing which of our actions will forever have things hanging on them. And so, we tread carefully.
Alas, how innocent we are of our own mistakes and how responsible we are for them, also.
I’m an over achiever and a go getter. There’s a frantic, nitpicky air coursing through most of what I do. When I lived in Los Angeles, I shared an apartment with a wonderful free spirit. We contrasted well with her calming, almost floating presence.
I’ll never forget when she turned to me one day and asked, in her innocent, purely curiosity driven way, “What are you going to do when you’ve done it all?”
At the time, her question bounced right off me. Back then, fresh out of college, the only beatings I endured were from myself and generally, I saw no limits to what I could achieve.
Ironically (though probably not), she was the very person with me 2.5 years ago, when my world came crashing down around me. And although we no longer live together in Los Angeles, her question has haunted me throughout the years.
Today, 29 months and numerous universe inflicted battle wounds later, her words ring more powerful than ever.
While I’m still an over achiever and go getter, I now understand and appreciate the gifts of grace and presence, agents of change that my former LA roommate wisely knew all along.
Hi Readers,
I want to share a story with you and get your feedback. I frequently serve as a guest writer for other websites that share my vision. Back in August, I published an article with Wake Up World called 9 Things To Remember When You’re Feeling Stuck. You can view it here:http://wakeup-world.com/2014/08/16/9-things-to-remember-when-youre-feeling-stuck/
Today, as I was browsing the internet and working on another guest post that I have coming up, I came across an article on Marc and Angel Hack Life called 10 Things To Remember When You’re Feeling Stuck. I clicked on it and to my dismay, the article was mine. It was my exact article taken almost verbatim and published as their own. You can view it here:http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/09/14/10-things-to-remember-when-youre-feeling-stuck/#comment-10167960
They published this article exactly one month after I published mine. I know they say that imitation is the greatest form of flattery, but I must be honest, I’m deeply hurt. Am I just naive to think that something like this wouldn’t happen to me? Is this simply something that comes with the territory of being a blogger and is to be expected?
I would think that a well known website such as Marc and Angel Hack Life, which gets loads of traffic every day, would be above forgery. It’s disheartening that a website which claims to promote truth seeking, could be so deceptive. Well respected writers, acting with such dishonor. Because they have a wider reacher than I, they’ve assumed that no one will notice and they won’t get caught. But even worse than this, now that I’ve caught them, who can I tell? Is there anything I can do about it? Will they face any repercussions?
I, myself, have been a fan of Marc and Angel Hack Life for some time now. But I am not a fan of ripping people off. And they have ripped me off. They’ve taken credit for work they didn’t do. My work. And I feel powerless.
I put my heart and soul into my work. To think that someone could steal this from me is horrifying.
Your thoughts and feedback are appreciated on this very difficult topic. Thank you in advance.
On this Thanksgiving, I’d like to express my gratitude to all of you, my readers.
You inspire me every day.
I seem to have a lot of people who follow this blog but I’m not sure how many of you actually read my work, much less enjoy it. Judging actual impact is one of those difficult, non tangible tasks that us bloggers are faced with.
But I want to make an impact. Nothing fills my cup more than sharing wisdom with people who are thirsty for it. With that being said, responses, opinions, thoughts, and feedback are encouraged and appreciated. In particular, I’m curious for an answer to this question: If I wrote a book, would you read it? Please respond in the comment section.
Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for all the joy that you bring to me. Thank you for sharing your own personal stories and allowing for me to share mine. I pray that we continue to grow together.
Much love to you all.
This week I was the victim of Cyberbullying. I would like to share my experience with you and what I’ve learned. I was verbally assaulted on my Instagram account, which was not set to private. The multiple comments on various pictures were crude, rude, and degrading. My instinct, as is often the case with victims of bullying, was to not tell anyone. I deleted the comments and reported the perpetrator’s account as inappropriate.
Still, the comments stuck with me like a virus in stagnant water. I couldn’t get them out of my head. I knew they weren’t true but I couldn’t figure out why someone would say such things towards me. I couldn’t think of a single person who would have any good reason and yet I played the words over and over again in my head, searching for even an ounce of truth in them.
To my surprise, the next day, multiple friends from college who said they had been verbally attacked on Instagram by the same user contacted me. I shared my own story and we were able to follow the leads and ultimately, determine the culprit. In this case, it was an old acquaintance from college who was attacking people from our friend circle. None of us had seen or spoken to him since graduation. Finding out that I wasn’t the only victim made it easier for me to let go of the lies replaying in my head. I understood that this wasn’t a personal attack but a mass attack on behalf of a person who was clearly suffering more than any of his victims. After much thought, here is what I’ve learned from this not so pleasant experience:
1. Cyberbullying is real and it happens to adults too. I would like to think that I am too old to be a victim of Cyberbullying. After all, anonymously attacking another person online seems childish. But unfortunately, many people in this world become adults without ever growing up. Their maturity level could very well be the same as it was in their youthful school days, despite those around them having matured.
2. You should never be quiet about bullying. I wanted to sweep the whole thing under the rug despite the unresolved feelings that this left within me. Fortunately, I have friends, who are much braver than I, who reached out to me for support with their own experience and this gave me the courage to speak up that I had also been a victim. Talking it over with friends, and ultimately solving the case of anonymity, was what allowed me to move forward from the abuse.
3. What someone says about you has more to do with him or her than it does you. This guy had no reason to attack any of us the way that he did. His comments were vicious and ungrounded. In fact, the one commonality among us (his victims) was that we all have since moved away from our college town and pursued careers that followed our dreams. Surely in his eyes, we appear to be doing well for ourselves. Perhaps, this young man graduated with us hoping to do the same, and now, three years later, he’s filled with resentment that he hasn’t. His attacks were on us, but they were about him.
4. We must be careful what we choose to put on the Internet and we must be vigilant about our privacy settings. Despite the supposed anonymity that the Internet offers, you are setting yourself up as vulnerable to an attack when you do not have all of your privacy settings in place. Any disturbed person from any where in the world can decide to victimize you on the Internet at any moment. And this is the price we pay.
5. Words are things. Once spoken, they cannot be retrieved, only forgiven. Words are powerful and we must be careful in how we use them. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, and your clothes, and finally in to you. Be careful with your words. Your tongue is the most powerful weapon that you have.
If you or anyone you know has been or currently is a victim of Cyberbullying, visit these sites to find out what you can do: http://www.stopbullying.gov
http://www.stopcyberbullying.org
My dear,
I was upset because I didn’t get what I wanted- which was your love and affection. But I had no right to get mad at you for not giving me that. You have given me so much love and so much affection, so often, that I think I just got dangerously used to it, almost dependent on it, on you.
That’s a heavy load to carry and I want to apologize.
I don’t want you to feel like you’re responsible for my happiness or unhappiness. You certainly bring me a lot of happiness but you’re not the source of it and I’m sorry I was acting like that.
Love,
Me
The person you love is not the source but they’re the tool and God is going to use them to bring gifts to you. Look at people in this way and your relationships will change.
Dear Husband,
Is this what God intended? He made me from your rib, and yet it is you who is making me… humbling me, destroying me… and by doing so, revealing Him.
My dear, though at times it is painful, I promise that I will love you as sure as He has loved me. I will no longer barter or bargain for your love. I will no longer expect, demand, or trade for your love. I will… simply… love… Offering myself to you, again and again at this altar called marriage. And I will do this to my death, though my death it may very well bring…
…God risked Himself on me and so I will risk myself on you.
Love,
Your Wife
My most precious child,
If there is any lesson I would want to leave with you, it is to love yourself. Find peace with who you are and don’t look outside yourself for acceptance and love. Find it deep within yourself and treasure it always. When you love yourself like that, you will know the kind of love I will always have for you.
Love, Mom