It’s hard to see someone you love in pain. It’s an instinct of love, I think, to want to help the other. But who are we to say pain is a bad thing?
You can spend hours, days, weeks, or even years trying to help your loved one heal. But you have to protect yourself in the process because you alone, of course, cannot heal them. You can’t take someone down from their own cross.
It’s well known that love finds you when you’re not looking for it. But did you know that if you go looking for love, more than likely, you’re not ready for it? Love finds you, not the other way around.
Similarly, commitment finds you when you’re not ready for it. Truth is, you’re not ready for commitment now nor will you ever be. Do you really think that our independent, self-absorbed, 21rst century selves are ever ready to commit selflessly to another?! Of course not!
But that’s why love finds you first. And suddenly, it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re ready for commitment because commitment is no longer about you. It’s about the other. You commit not for yourself, but for the one you love.
Beware of shaming others. For both kids and adults alike, the difference between telling someone, “You did something bad” and “You are bad” is an entire world.
Go to another country and fall in love with someone who doesn’t speak your language.
Then you realize words are just words.
We use them carelessly, wrecklessly, and far too often. We toss words around like rice but whether they fall on deaf ears or pierce souls, we can’t be sure. Once spoken, we relinquish control.
Once they slither from our tongues, they become like mist- impossible to catch, form, or direct.
Like moments and bullets, once out there, words can’t be retrieved.
So communicate with body language, feeling, energies, but use words only when necessary. So much pain and misunderstanding could be skirted if we used less words.
Believing every man is capable of fulfilling his highest potential while ignoring the reality that his behavior says the exact opposite. It’s like Maya Angelou said, “When people show you who they are, believe them. The first time.” Not everyone is emotionally capable of achieving their highest potential. Furthermore, not everyone wants to achieve their highest potential. Some people are perfectly content with where they are. I’m learning this.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself.
There will come a time when you’ll see clearly again; tears will no longer blur your eyes and love will no longer break your heart. Trust in this.
Never underestimate the power of simply saying, “No.” Life is too short to do things you don’t want to do with people you don’t even want to be around.
Recently I have been learning a valuable lesson. One which differs from what I thought to be true as a kid. Growing up, I always heard, “honesty is the best policy.” Perhaps this is true when you’re a young, naive, and innocent child. But now, in my early twenties, I’m beginning to realize that there is such a thing as being too honest and I dance this line far too often. For one, not every person can handle honesty. And for two, not everyone deserves it.
The problem with secrets is they isolate you. They’re like the Great Wall between your heart and others. And the only way to get through this wall is to open the door. Sounds simple but for many, it is not. Openness, transparency, honesty, and vulnerability are the gateways to genuine love (to which secrets are the barrier).