How Social Media Has Screwed Our Definition of “Cool” and 5 Things We Think Are Cool, That Really Aren’t at All

How do you define “cool”? Webster’s Dictionary defines it as, “fashionably attractive or impressive.” But that seems rather relative, don’t you think? I mean who defines what’s fashionably attractive or impressive? And what is our culture’s obsession with wanting to be “cool”?

As if the “cool” concept wasn’t already complicated enough, now, thanks to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and the like, we are watching what is “cool” unfold, transform, and solidify right before our very eyes. Everyday images on our computers and iPhones are infiltrating our minds and heavily influencing, even manipulating, our thoughts. We see pictures of celebrities rocking an eclectic haircut then we go out and get it because we think it’s cool. We see our friends rocking a particular fashion style, everybody is doing it, and so it must be cool! Without a doubt, social networking sites have screwed up our already skewed definition of “cool”. So, using these same social networking sites, I’ve set out to inform the public of 5 things we think are “cool”, that really aren’t at all.

  1. Celebrities. Now let me be clear, certainly a celebrity can be cool, but their celebrity status alone doesn’t make it so. The problem is, we tend to assume that a celebrity is “cool” when in reality we know nothing about him/her as a person. Granted, many celebrities are also trendsetters and that can be cool, but not if their taste is bad! …Or their morals… behaviors…hearts… At the end of the day, their character, just like ours, trumps all. And unless you know them personally, it’s doubtful you could know their character.

celebrity

  1. Money. Money isn’t cool! It’s a commodity, a method of trade. So why do we assume because a person has money they must be cool?! Again, it’s social media that’s throwing us off here. We see them on a yacht, travelling high seas, doing big things, and we think, “Hey! That’s cool!” Which it is. But that doesn’t mean the person doing those things is.

money

  1. Exclusivity. Exclusivity seems to be all the rage these days. Exclusive clubs, exclusive parties, exclusive events, exclusive invites. It’s absurd. I get that it’s human nature to want what you can’t have, and perhaps that explains why we think exclusive things are “cool”, but really?! Exclusive is the opposite of inclusive, and in my book- that’s not cool.

exclusive

  1. Fame. How cool does never being alone for the rest of your life sound to you? Yea…not cool at all.

famous

  1. Popularity. We assume when someone is popular that they must be cool. But what if this person has so many “friends” because they can’t be alone? That’s not cool. To go even further, what if this person is an addict or an alcoholic and that’s the reason they are always partying and out on the town? Again, Not cool.

popular

Which brings us full circle. The point is we should never assume a person is “cool” just because he/she is a celebrity, has money, goes to exclusive parties, is famous, or popular, or any other reason for that matter. Especially when we only know that person via social media (i.e. We haven’t seen them in many years, or worse, we’ve never met them at all).

Only you know what matters and what doesn’t in your character preferences. So you are the only one who can define what “cool” means to you. No one and nothing else can do that for you. In the same way, we must each individually define who is cool, through the only means possible, by getting to know the person…which you cant do on social media, might I add.

And while I’m at it, the number of “likes” you have, has nothing to do with how “cool” you are either. But that’s another article for another day.

So don’t let social media screw with your head. Remove your blinders and always remember that you are an individual, and for that, you are cool.

5 Beauty Products No Woman Should Be Without (Some of These May Surprise You)

It has been reported that women spend nearly $426 billion on beauty products alone every year. That’s over a billion dollars a day! Imagine how much you could save with the use of a little creativity. Did you know some of the best beauty products are fairly cheap and can double in their uses? There’s no need to spend all your time scouring the isles for your makeup and hair needs, or rushing out to buy the latest and greatest marketed beauty wonder. Simply stock up on the items in this list, and begin to enjoy saving. These five beauty products are things that no woman should be without. In fact, chances are, you may already own a few of these items and you just have yet to take advantage of all of their benefits. Vaseline

1. Vaseline. Most people know that Vaseline makes for excellent chapstick. It’s one of the purest forms of moisturizer. But did you know that you can use Vaseline on your nails to prevent those painful hangnails? Or how about around your eyes before bed to avoid those pesky wrinkles? My friend’s mom is over fifty years old, with no wrinkles or fine lines on her face. She swears by her nightly Vaseline routine. Forget nail cure formulas and anti wrinkle night creams, good ole Vaseline works better than any one of those.

Witch Hazel

2. Witch Hazel. The label says use for relief of minor skin irritations, cuts, scrapes, and insect bites. But did you know it makes for an excellent toner? Use Witch Hazel as part of your daily facial skincare routine and watch its magic unfold. Witch Hazel serves as the perfect balanced toner, getting the job done of tightening your pores and removing oil, without drying out your skin. It can also be used to heal damaged skin from too much sun exposure and soothe razor burn! The best part? It’s only $3.19 for a 16oz bottle at Walmart!

tea tree oil

3. Tea Tree Oil. Tea Tree Oil is a little known beauty secret that serves in a variety of ways. It’s great for getting rid of acne, scars, and just about any other pesky skin blemish you can think of. I have even heard that this little magic oil can get rid of warts when used consistently! You can find it at your local natural health food store. Just be sure you buy the organic kind, as many brands have tried to rip it off.

Manuka Honey

4. Manuka Honey. Though it’s on the pricier side for a jar of honey, this stuff is so worth it! Spread the honey over your face and leave it on for ten minutes as a mask. When you wash it off, your face will feel younger, fresher, and healthier almost instantly. The power lies in Manuka Honey’s antibacterial agents. These same properties make Manuka Honey an effective treatment for wounds, infections, and stomach aches. This honey is also great at fighting colds and sore throats. Simply stir one spoonful of Manuka honey into your tea or hot lemon drink, and stop the cold dead in its tracks.

Apple Cider Vinegar

5. Apple Cider Vinegar. Apple Cider Vinegar is one thing that you should always have in the house. Not only does it work to shorten the duration of colds when mixed with a glass of orange juice or warm water, but you can also take shots of this solution throughout the day for an instant, natural boost of energy. The vinegar can also be used as a rinse after shampooing to dramatically increase your hair’s shine. You can rub it on your teeth and rinse to help remove stains. The uses for Apple Cider Vinegar are endless. Basically, this miracle product is effective for just about anything- your hair, skin, health. It’s certainly one thing that no home should be without.

 

10 Things All Dads Should Know

Okay, so maybe the title is misleading. This post is for dads and that title assumes that 1. You love your kids. 2. You have a relationship with your kids. 3. You support and care for your kids. Now don’t get on your high horse claiming you support and care for your kids, when reality is you spend no time with them. These days, people seem to think that if a man provides his family with food and shelter (and doesn’t hurt them), then he’s a good dad. Possums provide their children with food and shelter! Is that really the bar we’ve set for fatherhood?! Do better, dads.

There is a saying, “Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.” A father can be someone who shares DNA with a child yet takes no responsibility in that child’s growth and development. But the term Dad displays a sense of familiarity and affection. A dad is someone who actively participates in the child’s growth. This list is 10 things that all dads should know. Okay, now that we have that straight…

 1. We love you for who you are, not what you do. This applies from the time we meet you until the time we say goodbye. We love you. And it’s not because you have a great career, drive a cool car, or can do 100 push-ups. You don’t have to impress us. Our love for you is inherent in you being our dad.

2. We’d rather spend quality time with you any day then receive money or gifts. Again, you are what matter most to us. Not your money or your ability to give to us, though we always appreciate that, too. But truly, there is nothing that can replace quality time with your dad. Even if it’s only five minutes, or a walk to get the mail with you- we cherish every second.

3. We follow your actions, not your words. You can tell us all day what’s wrong and what’s right, do this, not that. But at the end of the day, it’s your behavior that we watch, listen to, and repeat. The most effective teaching happens when you explain to us what we are already observing in your life.

4. How you treat our mom, defines for us how we want to be treated. John Wooden is famous for saying, “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” It’s true. We watch you interact with her and we learn what a loving relationship looks like, whether you are a good example of one or not. For daughters especially, we learn how we are to be treated by men in our future while watching how you treat our mom. Love our mother well, and we won’t settle for anything less in our own lives.

5. We compare all men to you. Yes, even future husbands. We look at potential dates and see how they measure up to you. You set the standard. Remember this as we grow up. Your life ought to be a reflection of the kind of man you want us to one day marry. No pressure though.

6. We need you. That’s right. Even when we’re “all grown up” (is anyone ever really all grown up?) the need for dad never fades. Your advice, love, protection, guidance… The list goes on and on. Never forget how much you are needed.

7. We love your approval. You are our hero, remember? There’s nothing like having the one you look up to most shine approval and appreciation down upon you. You might as well be showering us with gold. Be generous in your praise with us, as we so often are with you. It gives us confidence, so we can go out into the world and be great. Believing in us is the greatest gift you can offer.

8. We think you’re a good singer, dancer, and the funniest comedian we know. If you ever are looking for a career change, don’t ask us for counsel. We’ll have loads of encouragement but likely won’t have an answer. You’re just too good at too many things. The options are limitless…

9. We think you know all and believe everything you say. You could tell us that Big Foot lives in the bushes behind your house and that you’re friends with him…and we’d believe it. Simply because it came from your mouth. You’re a walking dictionary, history book, encyclopedia, and life manual all built into one. How you acquired all this knowledge, we’ll never know. And chances are, we won’t ask either.

10. We can’t live with you forever. Perhaps the hardest part of being a dad is that you eventually have to let your children go. But to do so gracefully, is the accomplishment of a lifetime. Some parents hold on to their kids so tight that they forget the very purpose of parenting is to let them go. You are given kids so that you can prepare them for their mission. Think of us like parachutes that you’ve spent your life packing. After all, what is the purpose of a parachute, if not to one day let it fly?

America’s Obsession with “Success”

A mockery of American culture’s obsession with “Success”. Fair warning: Terrifying facial expressions abound.

 

Simple Tip for Success

Simple tip for success: Do your best to speak ill of no one and speak all the good you see in everyone. 

The 10 Lies We Tell Ourselves – Purpose Fairy

The 10 Lies We Tell Ourselves – Purpose Fairy.

So excited about my guest post! You can check it out here!

For men: The Do’s and Don’ts of a First Date

http://theurbandater.com/for-men/dos-donts-first-date.php/

10 Lies We Need to Stop Telling Ourselves

Relationship Deal Breakers

The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Deal Breakers (from my friends’ and I’s POV)

1. He lives at home. With his parents. Enough said.

2. The only artwork that hangs on his walls are posters. Specifically we’re talking about the cliché scar face posters or the bikini clad bombshell above his bed. What is he? Stuck in college?

3. He hides things from you. This should be obvious but seeing as trust is the foundation of any relationship, you don’t want to be stuck with a guy who hides things from you! For example, if he has a password code on his phone and refuses to give it to you, this might be a red flag.

4. He posts shirtless selfies on Instagram. This guy either has low self-esteem and desperately needs approval. In which case, no matter how much attention you give him, it will never be enough. Or he’s way too into himself. Probably more into himself than he is into you.

5. His kitchen staples are frozen dinners, canned food, and ramon noodles. This guy has some growing up to do. Or he’s just flat out broke.

6. He talks to his mom everyday. We love a guy who is close to his mom. This means he likely respects women and knows how to treat a lady. But if his mom knows more about your relationship with him than his own friends? He might have a mama complex…In other words, it’s fine when he’s a boy but when that boy becomes a man and his mother still rules his life, it’s a problem.

7. He has an ex girlfriend’s name tattoed on him. Come on, people! Tattoos are for life! Unless his ex girlfriend’s name is Mary and he plans on inking Virgin Mother in front of it, you don’t want to have to see her name every day on your man’s chest.

8. He expects you to cook and clean for him. This is 2014 people, it’s not 1956! You are not his maid.

9. He doesn’t have friends of his own. This is a huge deal breaker! If you and your friends are his only social outlet- run. It’s going to become a codependent relationship fast. Besides, what’s wrong with him that he can’t sustain any friendships? Don’t wait around to find out the answer.

10. He can’t fend for himself in social situations. This is related to number 9 in that this guy is likely a codependent. When you take him out to parties, you don’t want to have to baby sit him! He shouldn’t be clinging to your side the entire time.

How To Say I Love You in Different Languages

You can’t say “I love you” enough to someone whom you truly love. Try changing it up a bit by saying, “I love you” in different languages. This video will teach you how to say “I Love You” in 10 different languages. Surprise and impress your loved one on Valentine’s Day! See below for the full list.

1. Spanish: Te quiero.
2. French: Je t’aime.
3. Russian: Ya tebya lyublyu
4. German: Ich liebe dich.
5. Japanese: Ai shiteru.
6. Chinese: wǒ ài nǐ
7. Icelandic: Ég elska þig.
8. Arabic: ana ah-hib ich (to a female)
ana ah-hib ek (to a male)
9. Hawaiian: Aloha Au Ia ‘Oe
10. Swahili: Nina kupenda