Stillness

I think I know why people are uncomfortable with stillness; being alone with the quiet of their mind.

What will my thoughts be? Will I be sad? Judgmental? Angry? Hateful? What if I am tormented by my racing mind? The inevitable underlying fear behind it all remains: Who am I?

But you are not your thoughts. Nor are you your feelings. If you can grasp this truth, you can learn to separate your self from your mind. The freedom that arises from this sort of separation will change your life. You will find that your thoughts are nothing to fear afterall. And more importantly, you will learn the healing power of stillness and the truth about how amazing you are, and have been all along.

God Doesn’t Have to Make Sense

I think a lot of people aren’t Christians because they’re looking for something rational. And they believe that all things that are true are rational. But that’s not the case. Love, for example, is true but not rational. It can’t be scientifically proven, yet all of us have felt it. Same with beauty, and light… Plenty of things are true that don’t make sense. God doesn’t have to make sense to be true. God makes no more sense to me, then I would to an ant…And yet He is the only Truth I know for certain.

“Until Death Do Us Part” Wedding Vows

We take those vows, “until death do us part” but death of what? Death of intimacy? Death of connection? Death of well-being? What has to die before someone decides, “I’m out”?

divorce

Is Freedom Really What We Want? (A Personal Reflection)

When my boyfriend died, the life I knew died along with him. Shortly thereafter, I packed up all of my belongings, everything I had acquired in California, and drove across the country to be back home again in North Carolina. Because, of course, when the world fails you, the only place you have to go is home.

Within one year, I had a monumental career change, my parents divorced, my childhood home was sold, and I was living on my own in an apartment for the first time in my life. All this change in only one year! Even writing about it now, it seems surreal. How has my life become so crazy, so chaotic? How have I been able to push through, to survive?

Well, God is good. And that is where I am now. Completely lost, approaching the second birthday that I will spend without my boyfriend and the only thing that I know for certain is God’s goodness and grace. Other than that, I feel adrift. Floating in a world that I have no control over, a world that is constantly shifting, one without ground.

I guess on the bright side, I have nothing holding me back. I have no attachments that hold me down, hold me steady. I’m free to fly like a bird, as I have always yearned to do.

This also means I have little security, no sense of stability, a feeling of total loss of control. Does a baby bird feel this way before it leaves its nest for the first time? I wonder. And how many nests will I have to leave? Is flying free really all it’s cracked up to be?

bird

Do Opposites Attract?

Do opposites attract? I’d say yes. An old theory suggests that we’re biologically drawn toward the partner who will color in the dull spots of our own genetic code. In other words, when opposites attract, essentially they’re biologically coming together to combine genes and create the perfect offspring. An interesting theory…

What is your experience with it?