“Dear Human: You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s Plenty.”
The outpouring of love and support since the tragedy has been breathtaking. I am so grateful for each and every person who has reached out, from strangers to family, you’ve each helped me in a unique way all your own. My world was snatched like a rug from underneath my feet on June 11, 2012 when I lost my best friend and the love of my life. Since then, my life has changed dramatically. Everything that I thought I knew, all of our plans, our future, our dreams, they had to adjust. And that takes time. But today, I’m happy to say my feet are finally back on the ground. Although my knees shake, today, I stand. Nothing can fill the huge gap in my heart that now exists but that’s the beautiful part, I’m learning to live with this opening, to embrace it. It’s where our memories live, our love, and his spirit. It is this daring, fearless, and gentle spirit that I will continue to imitate in my own life. His absence has gone through me like a thread. Everything I do is stitched with his color.
It’s a strange thing when you start to feel better after thinking you never would. It’s even stranger when you want to love again after losing the love of your life. A part of you says, “No, you can’t! It’d be a betrayal.” But another part of you, the better part of you, screams, “Yes! Live again! Love again!”