Have you ever noticed how your greatest moments of personal growth occur?
There’s a pattern to it, I’m convinced.
First, a challenge. A challenging life circumstance or situation. Something comes at us sideways when we least expect it. A loss. Break up. Health problem. We don’t feel equipped to handle it, yet somehow we do. We’re faced with an obstacle and we pull through.
But we haven’t grown yet.
Next comes vulnerability. We share our experience of this challenge with another person. In all of our raw honesty, we open ourself up to another. We share in our weaknesses and by doing so, we experience vulnerability.
Then we reflect. Only after a difficult challenge and shared vulnerability, can we pause to really reflect about what exactly we’ve just been through. What we’ve grown through. How we’ve grown. And in our reflection, finally, our great moment of personal growth arrives. Clothed in compassion and humility. Void of all judgment. An “Aha” moment.
Challenge. Vulnerability. Reflection. In that order.
I believe that all of our greatest personal growth experiences follow this pattern.
It’s a guiding life principle with which we’re all familiar: Always do your best.
Of course, your best is a fluid concept. It will be different, for example, after a sleepless night than when you wake up refreshed and energized. The idea is to do your best every day, no matter the quality of it.
But this seems a somewhat daunting task, doesn’t it? I mean, to always do your best feels like an awful lot of pressure.
What if we starting looking at our life through the lens of moments, rather than days?
In this case, we need only do our best in this very moment. Now that doesn’t seem too hard, does it?
If we can commit to doing our best in this moment, that act alone will inherently put us in the best place for the next moment. And on it goes…
Try to hold on to moments and they slip through your fingers like sand. Only when we let go can we fully experience them.
The good thing about pain is that it breaks down the walls of your ego, tones back relentless ambitions, and forces you into the present – enhancing your awareness of and appreciation for all of the people in your life. As it is through and with these people, that you can once again experience moments of joy.
It’s the music business. You pour your heart out to people and then wait for their response. Sometimes they eat you alive…so if you can’t take the heat, then get out of the kitchen. But sometimes, they love every bit of you. And during those times, all of the hard work and heartbreak is worth it because there’s no better feeling than to be loved and appreciated for the realest, purest form of you- your heart.
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” -Unknown
The best things, they cant be captured. To try is fleeting. They flutter around like butterflies, here one minute gone the next. An ever elusive bunch of things. And when we grasp for them, we miss.
Still, the brain struggles to catch moments, to hold them like hostages in memory and describe them later with words.
But this is what we have hearts for. Our hearts get it. Our hearts know that the best things, can’t be described with mere words. They must be felt. Our hearts know that these things weren’t meant to be captured or even understood, only appreciated.