Why Independence is Over Valued in Our Culture

Our culture puts too much value on independence. The truth is, to be truly independent, is to be alone.

Some call this strength, but really it’s often laziness. As humans, we’re designed to need other people. To believe that you can go at this world alone is like setting your soul down on a couch, never allowing it to exercise.

See, if you spend enough time alone, it soon becomes very hard to be around other people. You begin to think that the world belongs to you- that all space is your space and all time is your time.

You become so used to being able to daydream and keep yourself company, that other people are merely an intrusion. And this is terribly unhealthy.

God doesn’t want us floating through life alone, or sitting in front of our computers. He doesn’t want our lives to play out like a movie called Independence. He wants us interacting- laughing together, praying together, eating together…

If loving other people is a bit of heaven, then surely isolation is a bit of hell. While we’re on Earth, we get to decide in which state we would like to live.

The Many Faces of Christmas (A Poem)

Cold streets, winter nights

Warm windows, wrapped with lights

Loneliness and hands that freeze

Mistletoes and sparkling trees

Santa Clause finds some, not all

Some are at the Christmas Ball

While some are huddled close together

Under bridges, facing weather

Some are warm, by a fire

Some at stores, the constant buyer

Some in Church, singing praise

Some are gone, been so for days

As you join family and friends

Think of all the faces that Christmas lends

And don’t complain, whatever you do

There’s always someone who has it worse than you.

Burke: A Simple Man (A Poem)

Sometimes I want to be you,
Normal and simple.
Sometimes I wonder, Why me?

I’d like to watch TV
Or see friends after work
I’d like to drink warm tea
And laugh till it hurts

I grow rather tired
Of being constantly inspired
And I’d like to live with you
Someday, Burke.

The Danger of Overvaluing Independence

Our culture puts too much value on independence. Reality is, to be truly independent is to be alone.

Some call this strength, but often it is laziness.

As humans, we’re designed to need each other. To believe that you can go at this world alone is like setting your soul down on a couch and never allowing it to exercise.

See, if you spend enough time alone, it soon becomes very hard to be around other people. You begin to think that the world belongs to you- that all space is your space and all time is your time.

You become so used to being able to daydream and keep yourself company, that other people are merely an intrusion. And this is terribly unhealthy.

God doesn’t want us floating through life alone, or sitting in front of our computers. He doesn’t want our lives to play out like an Independence film. He wants us interacting- laughing together, praying together, challenging each other…

If loving other people is a bit of heaven, then surely isolation is a bit of hell. While we’re on Earth, we get to decide in which state we would like to live.

Romance

my-heart-is-heavy

I think our society puts too much pressure on romantic love, and that’s why it often fails. Romance can’t possibly carry all that we want it to.

Love is Like a Wild Flower

“Fact is,
You’re born alone and you die alone. You can’t bring anyone into this world with you as well as you can’t take anyone out of it when you go. It is your journey alone.
Yes we meet people along the way but it is only two lives running parallel, not intertwining. Enjoy these experiences but never believe you were born for someone or meant to be with one individual person you’re whole life because quite frankly, you will be sorely upset when reality comes to light.
A close friend once told me that finding someone you love is like finding a beautiful wild flower. We want to pick it and take it home with us to keep, but it soon looses it’s glow. It wilts and becomes unhealthy and eventually dies. To truly appreciate someone we love, we must allow them to flourish and grow in their environment. Visit them in their beauty but not displace them…”

Being Who You Are Is Not a Disorder

Being who you are is not a disorder.

Being unloved is not a psychiatric disorder.

I can’t find being born in the diagnostic manual.

I can’t find being born to a mother incapable of touching you.

I can’t find being born on the shock treatment table.

Being offered affection unqualified safety and respect when and only when you score pot for your father is not a diagnosis.

Putting your head down and crying your way through elementary school is not a mental illness…

– Franz Wright

It’s Okay Not to be Okay

It’s okay not to be okay. You don’t have to be happy all the time. Life isn’t going to be a nonstop joyride. Allow yourself to feel pain. Sit with it. It’s okay to have a broken heart or hurt feelings. It’s okay to be scared or anxious. All of this is part of life. A beautiful, tragic, and adventurous life.

Night

Night is the time when we’re alone, isolated in our bed, away from distractions and forced to confront our pain. I used to fear the night. I dreaded falling asleep, while needing rest more than ever before. In the quiet dark, the pain I spent all day running from, would sit right down on the edge of my own bed, like a familiar stranger, just staring at me. I hid from it any way I could; sleeping aids, prescription meds, exhaustion, alcohol… But no matter how great my hiding place, or how long I hid, the pain was relentless. It wouldn’t leave. Night after night, there it sat on my bed. Waiting for me. What does it want from me?!

Eventually, I learned to stare back. I began to even look forward to the night, when I could lie with that familiar stranger, face to face. Today, although the pain remains, its power is weakened. Finally, I am able to look it in the eyes and say, “I’m not scared of you anymore. I am grateful for you.”

Secrets: The Great Barrier to Love

The problem with secrets is they isolate you. They’re like the Great Wall between your heart and others. And the only way to get through this wall is to open the door. Sounds simple but for many, it is not. Openness, transparency, honesty, and vulnerability are the gateways to genuine love (to which secrets are the barrier).