“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours- it’s an amazing journey- and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” – Bob Moawad
Tag Archives: life
Highs and Lows
Why is it that when things are going good we worry that at any second they could go bad…yet, when things are going bad, we forget that at any second things could turn good?
Highs and lows are an inherent part of life’s cyclical nature. By now, we’re acutely aware of this. So why are we still trying to change this basic, natural law?
Why would we want to disrupt the flow of life?
There is no cure for highs and lows. We cannot “fix” it. And who are we to say it needs fixing in the first place?
If we can stop trying to escape the inevitable alternation of pleasure and pain, we can simply relax and be fully present for the wonder that is our lives.
Following Your Heart
“As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices.
If you keep this agreement, you can travel around the world with your heart completely open and no one can hurt you. You can say, “I love you” without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. You can ask for what you need. You can say yes, or you can say no – whatever you choose – without guilt or self-judgment. You can choose to follow your heart always.”
-Don Miguel Ruiz
Walking Away
“If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her.
Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want.
You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.”
-Don Miguel Ruiz
Suffering and Happiness: A Choice
“If you look at your life you will find many excuses to suffer, but a good reason to suffer you will not find.
The same is true for happiness. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.”
-Don Miguel Ruiz
The Key to Choosing and Establishing Healthy Relationships: “You Train People How to Treat You”
I’ve always been fascinated by the phrase, “You train people how to treat you.” While I understand it’s base concept (people will do to you what you allow), I’ve always wished for someone to delve deeper into this topic and to really hash out the details of it with me.
Today, that’s what I’m going to do for you, after having an epiphany about the subject last night while playing with my dog. (Dogs are great examples of the base line of emotions and thought processes from which we operate, by the way… 🙂
For such complicated subject matter, it’s really quite simple.
Reward behavior that you like and don’t reward behavior that you don’t like it.
Got it? Good.
Just kidding… I told you I would dive deeper…
- Reward behavior that you like. Reward it with what I call “The Three A’s”: attention, affection, and appreciation.
- Behavior that you don’t like, don’t reward. I.e. Don’t pay any particular attention to it. This goes for negative or positive attention. The key here is no attention at all. Just let it lie and see how the other person responds. Perhaps, they’ll bring it up on their own volition.
- If the behavior which you don’t like continues despite your lack of reward, then distance yourself. Remember, you’re not trying to prove to this person that you’re lovable. You already know this to be true and so do they, as they’ve clearly chosen to spend their time with you. Instead, your main goal early on is to determine whether or not this person is worthy of your heart. I can assure you, you won’t be able to change them.
The reason this is key early on, is because everyone puts their best foot forward in the beginning. And if behavior that you don’t like is happening in the beginning, it’s likely to continue later on as things progress. And don’t fool yourself, honey, you can’t change people.
So to break it down…
Observe the other person’s behavior, provide feedback (i.e. reward vs no reward), and then make your choice from a rational place (before said place becomes too muddled by emotions).
That’s it! Wham!
Keep these things in mind and surely you’ll be on your way to making wiser relationship choices in no time!
Self-Abuse
“In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else.
If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate endlessly.”
-Don Miguel Ruiz
John Lennon Quote
“Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see…”
-John Lennon
Betrayal and Freedom
“When we value ‘being cool’ and ‘in control’ over granting ourselves the freedom to unleash the passionate, goofy, heartfelt, and soulful expressions of who we are, we betray ourselves.
When we consistently betray ourselves, we can expect to do the same to the people we love. When we don’t give ourselves the permission to be free, we rarely tolerate freedom in others.”
-Brene Brown
Laugh, Sing, Dance
Laughter, song, and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration, or healing: We are not alone.
-Brene Brown
Vehicle of Wisdom 