A lot of people seem to enter relationships in order to be saved. They’re hurting from something deep within and when a man or woman comes to their “rescue”, they jump right in, thinking that they’ve found “the one”. But the problem with marrying your paramedic is as soon as the accident is over, your relationship will crash. In essence, you’re replacing one accident with another.
Don’t underestimate the value of your failed relationships. Sure, relationships can (and often do) fail. But certainly, there is no failure in relationship. Relationship itself is always a gain.
These people, even if they’re the wrong ones, are the ones teaching you the most about yourself, what you do and don’t want in a mate, and ultimately preparing you for the one to whom you are destined. For this, if for nothing else, you ought to be able to muster at least a smidgen of appreciation 😉
Never underestimate the power of simply saying, “No.” Life is too short to do things you don’t want to do with people you don’t even want to be around.
Recently I have been learning a valuable lesson. One which differs from what I thought to be true as a kid. Growing up, I always heard, “honesty is the best policy.” Perhaps this is true when you’re a young, naive, and innocent child. But now, in my early twenties, I’m beginning to realize that there is such a thing as being too honest and I dance this line far too often. For one, not every person can handle honesty. And for two, not everyone deserves it.
“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp…” -Anne Lamott
First engage with the world and then retreat from it. The devil wants you to believe in urgency, the lie that you can’t do both. The truth is, you can balance both engagement and retreat.
We are all creatures of habit. For those of us who are in the habit of constantly keeping busy, the problem is making the time to retreat and reflect… Or conversely, for the more introverted types, the problem can be getting out of your retreat stage and starting to engage with the world again. The devil wants you stuck. But God sets you free, allowing the possibility of a healthy flow between the two.
Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people. We are united in our differences.
A family can be likened to a gymnasium. It is where we get most of our “love workouts”.
This morning I went to a Starbucks drive thru. When I got to the window to pay, I recognized the woman by the register. Usually a cheerful lady, today she seemed down. I asked her how her day was going. “You don’t seem your usual chipper self,” I said. She went on to tell me how yesterday she was in the hospital for a sinus infection and she’s still feeling a bit in the dumps. I expressed empathy, “Sinus infections are the worst. I hope you feel better soon,” and handed her my money. She gave it back and replied with a smile, “Your drink’s on me today.”
The point is, kindness begets further kindness. And you never know how a simple expression of care might affect someone on any given day. My day was made too. An exchange of kindness between two people is priceless.
When you lose someone who is the most important part of your life, your world changes. And so do you. Inevitably and irreversibly, you’re not the same person that you were before the tragedy.
But this must be seen for what it is, a blessing. The silver lining in an otherwise black hole of loss. See, some people only get to live one life, but some are given two. Perhaps, as we each navigate this world and our relationships, we can all see it as a new beginning, a second chance at life, each time we cycle round and round.