Letting go of an ambiguous loss is often the most challenging and important task we face.
At some point in our lives, we all experience it. Someone important to us isn’t willing to talk. Maybe we need to talk, but the other person needs not to. The more history involved and the higher our expectations for that relationship, the more painful their silence.
Painful events happen to all us. But our real problems arise when we attach to that pain.
Often we have this fantasy that somehow by holding on to our anger, the other person will magically decide to apologize and/or come back. As long as we hold on to our anger, we hold on to our hope. Or so we think.
But while you’re sitting there ruminating, the person in question may very well be out having a wonderful day at the lake. The simple fact that you’re the only one suffering, should be your own best argument for letting go.
Negative attachment is still attachment.
Anger is often the glue that keeps us stuck, expressed as an ongoing obsession about “why” this person has wronged us. It’s human nature to want to understand behavior. But the fact is, it’s hard enough to understand our own, let alone somebody else’s. And we simply can’t force another person to talk to us or own up to “the truth” as we see it.
Sometimes we just have to let go.
A sad ending doesn’t negate the value of a relationship. And while it takes two people to form an intimate relationship, it only takes one to end it.
We have to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.
It’s as simple and as difficult as that.
If it were up to me
and me alone,
I’d hurt you just as you’ve hurt me.
But I know a path
that starts with love
and ends with love just like a circle.
It’s a healing path,
and fulfilling all the same.
And so I choose to take with you
the path that Jesus took with me.
It is the only path that works
and my Hope rests in its effectiveness.
Discipline is not God trying to pay you back, it’s God trying to bring you back.
It is written, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the Earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9) My lamb, it pleases me to see you needy for me. I know that this world can be hard on you but fear not! I am your God and I love you.
It is a great place to be; in dependence, desperately surrendering to me. For in your weakness, my power is made known. My power is able to work through the cracks in your life that you perceive as trials. I can assure you, child, trials are not what you presume them to be.
Continue to abide in me, little one, so that I may direct your path. So that my power may shine through your life, both in times of trial and times of joy.
Even our tears of repentance have to be washed in the blood of Jesus.
I was upset because I didn’t get what I wanted- which was your love and affection. But I had no right to get mad at you for not giving me that. You have given me so much love and so much affection, so often, that I think I just got dangerously used to it, almost dependent on it, on you.
That’s a heavy load to carry and I want to apologize.
I don’t want you to feel like you’re responsible for my happiness or unhappiness. You certainly bring me a lot of happiness but you’re not the source of it and I’m sorry I was acting like that.
The person you love is not the source but they’re the tool and God is going to use them to bring gifts to you. Look at people in this way and your relationships will change.
You can only hide from God, by hiding in God.
Those who are forgiven much, love much.
And when we think too lightly of sin, we are thinking too lightly of our Savior.
God’s forgiveness begins where blame-shifting ends.
There are too many people too angry at a world that isn’t the least bit angry with them.