Relationships can be complicated but the breakdown of their success is really quite simple.
Relationships built on mutual values and goals, work. Both parties feel a sense of belonging to something greater than themselves. When there is no sense of shared values and goals, the individuals begin to feel disconnected and confused about their purpose which often leads to the relationship falling apart.
So how do you establish mutual values and goals?
Through clear communication that allows for give and take, enabling you to build the trust that every relationship needs.
Clear communication rules include:
Do what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it.
Praise in public, criticize in private.
Don’t bully people into agreeing with you.
Respect the other’s opinion.
When we focus on the goals of the relationship as a whole, and they align with the goals of each individual that’s a party to the relationship, success inevitably follows.
I think it’s extremely important to have guiding principles in various areas of your life. Such principles keep you grounded and help you to see the bigger picture when it’s so much easier to get caught up in the small stuff. I decided to share with you my top 10 relationship principles. You can read them below. These relationship principles simply serve as grounding reference points in my day to day life. Also, one should note, they aren’t specific to romantic relationships. I try to implement these principles in all of my interactions, across a variety of relationships.
What are your relationship principles? Let me know in the comments section below!
- Be honest and direct in your communication. You’ll be amazed at how many problems you can avoid by being direct and honest in your communication.
- Show vulnerability. Don’t try to be perfect; it’s isolating.
- Be clear about what you need and ask for what you want. People aren’t mind readers, so don’t expect them to be.
- Be grateful. Appreciate how this person adds to your life. What if she/he were to disappear tomorrow?
- Remember that what the other person thinks, feels, and does isn’t any of your business. Your business is what you think, feel, and do as it pertains to him/her.
- If there’s an elephant in the room, point it out. The sooner, the better.
- Keep your humor. Life’s not that serious.
- Listen more, talk less. Other people are our greatest teachers when we allow them to be. We weren’t given two ears and one mouth for nothing!
- Prioritize the relationship needs over your own. Don’t forget that there are three parties to every relationship. You, the other person, and the relationship itself!
- BE PRESENT! Probably the most important one of all. How can you experience the joy of true connection if your mind, body, and/or spirit is elsewhere?
“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” – Peter F. Drucker
Go to another country and fall in love with someone who doesn’t speak your language.
Then you realize words are just words.
We use them carelessly, wrecklessly, and far too often. We toss words around like rice but whether they fall on deaf ears or pierce souls, we can’t be sure. Once spoken, we relinquish control.
Once they slither from our tongues, they become like mist- impossible to catch, form, or direct.
Like moments and bullets, once out there, words can’t be retrieved.
So communicate with body language, feeling, energies, but use words only when necessary. So much pain and misunderstanding could be skirted if we used less words.
God didn’t create us because He was lonely and needed us. Just as a songwriter doesn’t write a song because he needs the song.
A songwriter writes a song because he needs to communicate himself.
So it is with God, when He created us.