The Break Up Poem

Breaking up is hard to do
Especially with a guy like you
Who’s smart and funny
Tender loving
Always tough to say it’s through

I wonder why we started at all
Raising you up, just to let you fall
Silly me, it’s always me
You tried and failed
to climb my wall

Zipper locked and stored away
Not even I know how to play
the game of love with my own heart
I try and try until it falls apart

This time it’s not you, it’s me
No matter how contrite that seems
You, you’ll find the woman of your dreams
And I’m just sorry that it wasn’t me

Did You Marry the Wrong Person?

marriage

Did I marry the wrong person? This is a common question in today’s world. Or often, people will believe that they married the right person back then, but justify their marriage breakdown with, “He/she is just not the same person that I married…”

But did you know that the human body essentially recreates itself every 6 months? In that time frame, nearly every cell of skin, hair, and bone dies and another is directed to its former place. So, guess what?! You are physically not the same person that you were last August!

Should we be surprised then that our partner of choice changes too? Of course not.

The unity of marriage is not designed for you to have the perfect roommate. And you will always marry the wrong person, because the one you marry will always be a sinner. But alas, marriage is designed to teach you how to wash another sinner’s feet. If only you will stick around long enough to properly learn.

When you say “I do,” you are essentially committing to make the choice to love that person, today, and every 6 months for the rest of your life, even as he/she inevitably changes. In other words, “This isn’t the same person I married” is not a justifiable reason to leave. In fact, it is no reason at all.

Relationship Deal Breakers

The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Deal Breakers (from my friends’ and I’s POV)

1. He lives at home. With his parents. Enough said.

2. The only artwork that hangs on his walls are posters. Specifically we’re talking about the cliché scar face posters or the bikini clad bombshell above his bed. What is he? Stuck in college?

3. He hides things from you. This should be obvious but seeing as trust is the foundation of any relationship, you don’t want to be stuck with a guy who hides things from you! For example, if he has a password code on his phone and refuses to give it to you, this might be a red flag.

4. He posts shirtless selfies on Instagram. This guy either has low self-esteem and desperately needs approval. In which case, no matter how much attention you give him, it will never be enough. Or he’s way too into himself. Probably more into himself than he is into you.

5. His kitchen staples are frozen dinners, canned food, and ramon noodles. This guy has some growing up to do. Or he’s just flat out broke.

6. He talks to his mom everyday. We love a guy who is close to his mom. This means he likely respects women and knows how to treat a lady. But if his mom knows more about your relationship with him than his own friends? He might have a mama complex…In other words, it’s fine when he’s a boy but when that boy becomes a man and his mother still rules his life, it’s a problem.

7. He has an ex girlfriend’s name tattoed on him. Come on, people! Tattoos are for life! Unless his ex girlfriend’s name is Mary and he plans on inking Virgin Mother in front of it, you don’t want to have to see her name every day on your man’s chest.

8. He expects you to cook and clean for him. This is 2014 people, it’s not 1956! You are not his maid.

9. He doesn’t have friends of his own. This is a huge deal breaker! If you and your friends are his only social outlet- run. It’s going to become a codependent relationship fast. Besides, what’s wrong with him that he can’t sustain any friendships? Don’t wait around to find out the answer.

10. He can’t fend for himself in social situations. This is related to number 9 in that this guy is likely a codependent. When you take him out to parties, you don’t want to have to baby sit him! He shouldn’t be clinging to your side the entire time.