If Our Inner Selves Could Talk, Here’s What They Would Say

I trust you.

I know you know how to get things done. How to engage yourself with the world and then retreat.

You can eat when you’re hungry and sleep when you’re tired. You know how to shower, clean up, and pay your bills on time.

You know how to say “no” and how to say “yes” and when to do both.

You can let the right people in and show the wrong people out.

You know how to ask for help. And company when you need it.

You know how to forgive yourself. Stand by yourself. Be close to the people you choose.

This is your adventure. Your life. You got this.

You’re in charge and I trust you.

A Servant’s Heart: What Every Great Leader Knows

“If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” Mark 9:35

Although written in the Bible thousands of years ago, this truth has remained for generations. And it’s still relevant today. If you want to be great, you have to be like the least and a servant to all. It’s a truth that every great leader understands. If you’re reading this, chances are you consider yourself a leader, or at least aspire to one day do great things and be successful. I imagine this is a universal desire. While many people want to lead, not quite as many know how. Today, I’m going to let you in on a secret that every great leader knows well: what constitutes a servant’s heart.

When you think of servanthood, what comes to mind? Is it the livelihood of fairly low skilled people on the bottom of the totem pole? If this is what you think, you are poorly mistaken. Servanthood is not about a position or skill at all. It’s about an attitude. Many people are in the service industry yet have poor attitudes towards servanthood. We’ve all met them: the rude UPS worker, the frustrated government agency employee, or the annoyed waitress who can’t be bothered. Just as you can sense when a worker doesn’t want to help, so can you also easily detect when someone has a servant’s heart. Here I list 5 qualities that comprise the servant’s heart and nearly guarantee great leadership.

  1. Put others ahead of themselves. This is the beginning of servanthood. It is the ability to put other people and their desires above yourself and your own. You must be willing to put your personal agenda on hold, to be inconvenienced and interrupted for the sake of serving others. It means being intentionally aware of other people’s needs, making yourself available to them, and treating them with importance.
  2. Possess the confidence to serve. How we treat others is always a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. A servant’s heart is marked by security. He who thinks himself too good to serve, is insecure at his core. Only secure leaders can give power to others. They are confident enough in their own ability to help other people achieve their own.
  3. Initiate service to others. It isn’t saying much if you serve only when asked to or when you feel compelled. Just about anyone will serve when they feel like it. A leader with a servant’s heart initiates They anticipate needs, seize the opportunity, and serve without expecting or demanding anything in return.
  4. Is not position conscious. Leaders with a servant’s heart are not focused on their position or rank. They are not trying to “get ahead”, because this would entail leaving others behind. The true servant and leader is simply one person acting to help another. There are no hidden agendas or ulterior motives behind their work.
  5. Serves out of love. Finally, servanthood is not motivated by selfish desires or marked by manipulation. It is fueled by love. Your relationships depend on the depth of your concern for the other. When you have a servant’s heart, you are driven by love and serving others becomes second nature.

Why do you want to become a leader? Is it to benefit yourself and enjoy all of the perks that leadership brings? Or are you motivated by a desire to help others? If you want to become the kind of leader that others will follow, you will need to first become a servant. If you want to become successful on the highest level, you will need to be willing to serve on the lowest. That is the best, and only, way to form truly meaningful relationships, which are, might I add, the indisputable key to success.

The quickest way to become a servant is to start serving. Begin serving with your body and eventually your heart will catch up. Mother Teresa said it best when she said, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can all do small things with great love.” Overtime, these small things add up to be a big thing. Try to perform one small act of kindness each day. Better yet, make it your goal to make at least one person’s day, every day. If you want to become a great leader, you must first learn to be a great servant.

Joy

I know that Joy is right around the corner from me
Peaking out with its familiar face

Trembling that we’ll miss eachother
With fear that she’ll not recognize me

Smiling, bright eyed
I wait for

Joy.

The Problem with The New Age

The problem with New Age Spirituality is that it whispers we can be gods. It plays on our desire to be able to count on ourselves, carve our own paths, and determine our own futures.

No doubt, it alludes to God, and offers reasonable tribute to God in the way of time, attention, and love but, ultimately, New Age Spirituality says these things are ours, not His.

The New Age suggests that we are nouns, when in fact we are, and always will be, simply adjectives.

When Life Lessons Come Full Circle: A Personal Story

I’m an over achiever and a go getter. There’s a frantic, nitpicky air coursing through most of what I do. When I lived in Los Angeles, I shared an apartment with a wonderful free spirit. We contrasted well with her calming, almost floating presence.

I’ll never forget when she turned to me one day and asked, in her innocent, purely curiosity driven way, “What are you going to do when you’ve done it all?”

At the time, her question bounced right off me. Back then, fresh out of college, the only beatings I endured were from myself and generally, I saw no limits to what I could achieve.

Ironically (though probably not), she was the very person with me 2.5 years ago, when my world came crashing down around me. And although we no longer live together in Los Angeles, her question has haunted me throughout the years.

Today, 29 months and numerous universe inflicted battle wounds later, her words ring more powerful than ever.

While I’m still an over achiever and go getter, I now understand and appreciate the gifts of grace and presence, agents of change that my former LA roommate wisely knew all along.

An Unrequited Love Poem

I loved every bit of you
every hair on your head
I thought this was clear
though the words went unsaid.

I figured you’re brilliant
And you’d know as well as I
That we’re made for each other
Our ribbon’s hung in the sky.

But you proved less present
than I originally thought.
Or perhaps, I’ve proved more hopeful
than the love that we’ve wrought.

Growing Up

I don’t know why so many people say, “Do I have to grow up?” Me personally, I love growing up. Things seem to clarify year after year. I grow stronger and stronger, more sure of myself and My Maker. Yes, indeed, it’s joyous to grow up, to grow at all, in fact.

There is No Cure for Hot and Cold

There is no cure for hot and cold.

There is no cure for the facts of life.

If we can stop trying to escape the inevitable alternation of pleasure and pain, we can simply relax and be fully present for the wonder that is our lives.

“It is possible to move through the drama of our lives without believing so earnestly in the character that we play.” – Pema Chodron, The Places that Scare You