Control vs. Letting Go

There are really two ways of going about our day to day lives.

Either we’re striving and trying to maintain control (a fruitless effort, by the way, which leaves us exhausted). Or we’re relinquishing control to God, and trusting that He will bring us what we need each day.

There’s a distinct and noticeable difference between how good our days are, depending on which mode of being in which we’re acting.

When we’re striving, the people around us can tell. It says to them that there is something more important which we need to accomplish. Something more important than being present with them and letting God work. When we’re trusting God with all of our needs and desires, we’re at rest. And people around us can see this, too. They wonder how we’ve found such peace within the whirlwind of our daily lives. We’re a living testament of what it’s like to know God.

What it really boils down to, is that all of our striving and trying to gain control, makes the statement: “I don’t trust God.” And that hurts Him.

He’s already proven to us His goodness, grace, and love. Why would we not trust Him to take care of us on a daily basis?

Life becomes so much easier when we learn to let go, and let God. With every single aspect of our lives.

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Letting Go

Letting go of an ambiguous loss is often the most challenging and important task we face.

At some point in our lives, we all experience it. Someone important to us isn’t willing to talk. Maybe we need to talk, but the other person needs not to. The more history involved and the higher our expectations for that relationship, the more painful their silence.

Painful events happen to all us. But our real problems arise when we attach to that pain.

Often we have this fantasy that somehow by holding on to our anger, the other person will magically decide to apologize and/or come back. As long as we hold on to our anger, we hold on to our hope. Or so we think.

But while you’re sitting there ruminating, the person in question may very well be out having a wonderful day at the lake. The simple fact that you’re the only one suffering, should be your own best argument for letting go.

Negative attachment is still attachment.

Anger is often the glue that keeps us stuck, expressed as an ongoing obsession about “why” this person has wronged us. It’s human nature to want to understand behavior. But the fact is, it’s hard enough to understand our own, let alone somebody else’s. And we simply can’t force another person to talk to us or own up to “the truth” as we see it.

Sometimes we just have to let go.

A sad ending doesn’t negate the value of a relationship. And while it takes two people to form an intimate relationship, it only takes one to end it.

We have to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.

It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

Intuition

It’s a strange thing when you start to feel better after thinking that you never would.

It’s even stranger when you want to love again after losing the love of your life.

A part of you screams, “No, you can’t! It’d be a betrayal.”

But another part of you, the better part of you, whispers, “Yes. Live again. Love again.”

There is no better way to honor yourself than trusting your intuition when it whispers.

Walking Away

“If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her.

Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want.

You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.”

-Don Miguel Ruiz

Moments

aloha

Try to hold on to moments and they slip through your fingers like sand. Only when we let go can we fully experience them.

Fix your problems by forgetting they’re problems

We fix our problems by forgetting that they’re problems and reminding ourselves that they’re actually gifts.

If You Were to Die Tomorrow…

If you knew that you were going to die tomorrow, who would you be with today and what would you do?

It’s an important question to ask every now and then to keep things in perspective. While most of us can’t control when or how we die, a lot of us can exercise some control over how we live.

And if we want to live a truly meaningful life while we have the chance, we ought to be thinking of death more often than we do.

The Scene at the Stream

The other day, I sat quietly by a stream watching the water flow, birds taking dips, and tiny fish swimming together. The beauty of it all was breathtaking. Nothing about the scene at the stream was rushed, forced, or controlled. It just was.

streamIf God can make this tiny stream and the life surrounding it flow so effortlessly while simultaneously pointing back to His own beauty and perfection, can’t I assume He is doing the same in my own life?

That’s when it occurred to me.

If we could truly grasp God’s love for us, all of our prayers would be praise.

An Old Proverb

By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.

Conversation with God on Time

SlaveToTimeFinal2 Last night God asked me, “Why do you behave as though time is your master and you its slave? Worrying about when you will do this or finish that. Did I not create the sun to rise and the night to fall?

Indeed, I created time for you. Not the other way around. Time is precious if you use it wisely, but worthless if you let it use you. To know your days are numbered is wise, but to idolize your time is foolish.

So I ask of you, Child, as you go about your daily duties, will you remember me? Will you seek solace in my presence which transcends time? Better still, will you place your time in My Hands, so that My Good and Perfect Will may be done?”