There are really two ways of going about our day to day lives.
Either we’re striving and trying to maintain control (a fruitless effort, by the way, which leaves us exhausted). Or we’re relinquishing control to God, and trusting that He will bring us what we need each day.
There’s a distinct and noticeable difference between how good our days are, depending on which mode of being in which we’re acting.
When we’re striving, the people around us can tell. It says to them that there is something more important which we need to accomplish. Something more important than being present with them and letting God work. When we’re trusting God with all of our needs and desires, we’re at rest. And people around us can see this, too. They wonder how we’ve found such peace within the whirlwind of our daily lives. We’re a living testament of what it’s like to know God.
What it really boils down to, is that all of our striving and trying to gain control, makes the statement: “I don’t trust God.” And that hurts Him.
He’s already proven to us His goodness, grace, and love. Why would we not trust Him to take care of us on a daily basis?
Life becomes so much easier when we learn to let go, and let God. With every single aspect of our lives.
Last night I was feeling overwhelmed with love for my dog, Buddy. I expressed this feeling to God. “I just love him so much!!” I said. He smiled, “I know you do. Your love for Buddy is a reflection of my love for you. Imagine how much more I love you! Hard to fathom, isn’t it?”
An overwhelming sense of peace washed over me, “I am in good hands.”
God continued, “Why don’t you try loving a person with the same sort of intensity that you love Buddy?”
“But, how?” I replied.
“Just try.” He answered.
“But,” I insisted, “My whole life revolves around him! How could I love people in that same way? It would take up too much energy. I would have no time.”
God replied, “Is there anything more important to spend your energy or time on?”
Wow. It hit me. We are called to love others. It is our mission. Our reason for being on Earth. And not just to love them halfheartedly either, when it’s convenient to us, for example. But to love them wholeheartedly, at all times, through all situations, no matter their actions or behaviors. This might seem like a daunting task but it’s natural when the Holy Spirit resides in you. This sort of love, relentless and all encompassing, is the kind that reflects God’s love for us. It is the kind that people most need to see. The kind that we need to be most intentional about showing.
Tonight God asked me, “How much do you trust me?”
“A lot,” I said.
He laughed, as He often does, “OK. But do you trust me enough?”
He continued, “Enough to stop worrying about time and how much of it you have? Have you not seen how my timing is perfect? Enough to stop obsessing over your to do list? What if I have better things for you to do? When you pray to me ‘Jesus, take the wheel’, do you really mean it? Will you let me? Do you trust me enough to lay your head on the pillow at night without your mind racing? Will you accept my offering of peace? Will you find your rest in me?”
I sat, once again, dumbfounded in His presence.
“You say you trust me ‘alot’ but is it enough?”
This morning as I was walking my dog before work, I had a moment of clarity and awe that I want to now share with you.
The weather is getting warmer here and the birds were out in full force this morning. It occurred to me just how complex their way of being is. Together, they formed a cacophony of sounds which I can only assume were claims of territory. They all appeared to be staking out their domain in preparation for Spring.
God, who made us, also made these birds and formed the complex system by which they operate. How amazing! Knowing this, I wonder, how can we ever doubt God’s goodness and love?! It only takes a few short minutes of observing the birds to know that He is a master of detail.
This should put a lot into perspective when you really stop to consider it. As complex as He made the birds, He made us with that much more precision. And although this complexity contributes to much of our anxiety and confusion on Earth, it shouldn’t. It is this very complexity that should, instead, overwhelm us with wonder and direct out eyes in awe towards the Master Craftsman who created it all.
Each of us are beautifully and uniquely designed in our own right, by a God who cares deeply about every last detail of our lives, even the birds.
You don’t have to be good at being good for God to love you. It’s not about trying, but trusting. It’s not about your success in doing, but your faith in what has been done.
When my boyfriend died, the life I knew died along with him. Shortly thereafter, I packed up all of my belongings, everything I had acquired in California, and drove across the country to be back home again in North Carolina. Because, of course, when the world fails you, the only place you have to go is home.
Within one year, I had a monumental career change, my parents divorced, my childhood home was sold, and I was living on my own in an apartment for the first time in my life. All this change in only one year! Even writing about it now, it seems surreal. How has my life become so crazy, so chaotic? How have I been able to push through, to survive?
Well, God is good. And that is where I am now. Completely lost, approaching the second birthday that I will spend without my boyfriend and the only thing that I know for certain is God’s goodness and grace. Other than that, I feel adrift. Floating in a world that I have no control over, a world that is constantly shifting, one without ground.
I guess on the bright side, I have nothing holding me back. I have no attachments that hold me down, hold me steady. I’m free to fly like a bird, as I have always yearned to do.
This also means I have little security, no sense of stability, a feeling of total loss of control. Does a baby bird feel this way before it leaves its nest for the first time? I wonder. And how many nests will I have to leave? Is flying free really all it’s cracked up to be?