My dad is dating again
She’s more than a friend
I know it by the light in his eyes
He asked if I’d meet her
But I don’t want to see her
She’s not my mother, surprise
He says he’s lonely
And rightfully so,
Nothing is lonelier
Than 30 years without hope
The worst kind of loneliness
while you’re not alone
But with the one you love most
And still nobody’s home.
I do want him happy
But who could possibly deserve him?
I feel protective
I mean, what if she hurts him?
I feel jealous
I want his love for me only
But then I feel sad
Because I don’t want him lonely
Too soon to meet her
Too soon, I say
But when does too soon
become a little too late?
“Whenever you’re ready.”
The questions I face
When is the time ever right
To meet your dad’s date?
Did I marry the wrong person? This is a common question in today’s world. Or often, people will believe that they married the right person back then, but justify their marriage breakdown with, “He/she is just not the same person that I married…”
But did you know that the human body essentially recreates itself every 6 months? In that time frame, nearly every cell of skin, hair, and bone dies and another is directed to its former place. So, guess what?! You are physically not the same person that you were last August!
Should we be surprised then that our partner of choice changes too? Of course not.
The unity of marriage is not designed for you to have the perfect roommate. And you will always marry the wrong person, because the one you marry will always be a sinner. But alas, marriage is designed to teach you how to wash another sinner’s feet. If only you will stick around long enough to properly learn.
When you say “I do,” you are essentially committing to make the choice to love that person, today, and every 6 months for the rest of your life, even as he/she inevitably changes. In other words, “This isn’t the same person I married” is not a justifiable reason to leave. In fact, it is no reason at all.
Why It Hurts to See You Fight (A Poem on Divorce. From the child within me.)
It hurts me to see you fight.
I wish there was something I could do.
Anything to stop the war
Silently waging between you two.
The silence is what hurts the most.
You pretend everything’s fine.
Telling me it’s just an argument,
When it happens every time.
But I can see the bitterness
behind the words you say.
Using your tongues as weapons,
Piercing all that’s in your way.
So every time I watch you fight
I get hit with daggers too
They soar to my left, wrong, and right
Because I’m standing between you
It’s a heavy weight to hold,
Your parents’ wounded love.
It feels my urgent duty
To protect what I’m a product of.
When you fight I choose no side
As I feel for both of you.
I don’t notice who is wrong or right,
I only look for truth.
And the truth is that you’re both amazing,
just the way you are
I’m overwhelmed with love each day,
I love your flaws and all.
I wish you could see eachother
The way that I see each of you.
Some days they seem forgotten-
The countless attractions of you two.
Maybe if we focused hard
On all the good in us,
We’d forgive all of the little faults
And see things like Jesus does.
Stop working on the marriage and work on yourselves instead. Bring a better yoU to the Union and your marriage will work.
We take those vows, “until death do us part” but death of what? Death of intimacy? Death of connection? Death of well-being? What has to die before someone decides, “I’m out”?