Matrescence

I’m over five months pregnant and have been doing a ton of research on all things labor, delivery, newborns, and motherhood. But there’s one area in which research is lacking and that area is called, “Matrescence”. The term was coined by Dana Raphael, Ph.D. (1973) and it remains a largely unexplored area of study. In fact, I conducted a survey on my social media pages and 82% of women (mostly new mothers) had never even heard of the term!

In short, matrescence can be likened to adolescence. It refers to the process of becoming a mother. The developmental passage where a woman transitions through pre-conception, pregnancy, and birth, to the postnatal period and beyond. It recurs with each child. Of course, we all know that during pregnancy a woman’s body is changing rapidly and inside a tiny life form is taking shape to be a completely unique and individual human being upon birth. But what we often forget is that the woman herself is also changing rapidly and taking shape. Not just in a physical sense, but in a bio-psycho-social-political-spiritual way.

Yes, the mother gives birth to a child. But the child also gives birth to a mother.

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh said it best, “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”

I’m currently working on a series about Matrescence, including a poem, which will be the first of its kind. I can’t believe no other artist has delved into this topic before! I hope that you’ll stay tuned and share this information with the women in your life. New mothers, expecting mothers, and women who want to be mothers. May we all be comforted in knowing that we’re not alone.

New Year, New Me

Do you want to live out the phrase, “New year, new me”?

Of course you do! You’re likely following my site because you’re interested in personal growth, and this means we’re continually trying to improve ourselves in order to be the best human beings that we can. (Which, of course, involves giving ourselves lots of grace. Grace on grace on grace. 🙂

So here’s my big insider tip: Make goals. 

Dig within. Write down what you want to happen in your life this year.

What do you want to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What blocks do you want to remove? Where do you want to grow? Where do you want to go? Be specific!

This is how you do your part. The rest takes care of itself.

See, goals give us direction. They send out a powerful message to the universe on a conscious and subconscious level. They serve as an affirmation for us, our life, and our ability to choose.

New year, new me? Make goals.

A New Years Eve Poem

My hope for you this New Year

is forgiveness of yourself and others,

revival of what matters most,

relationships with friends and lovers.

My hope for you is motivation,

bigger dreams, and inspiration.

Realistic goals and follow through,

these things are my hope for you.

My hope for you this New Year

is healing what you’ve broken;

repairing, mending, letting go

of all apologies left unspoken.

I hope when you look back to where

 you were this time last year,

you’re in an entirely different place.

Your truest self is ever near.

I hope that you have grown and changed.

With open arms embrace the pain,

search for joy and new love, too.

These things are my hope for you.

The Meaning of Christmas (and a Poem)

As Christmas is fast approaching, my prayer is that we don’t get so caught up in our own celebrations that we forget the meaning of this special holiday. We celebrate because Jesus Christ purchased salvation for both the Jews and the Gentiles. Christmas would be meaningless if He didn’t purchase salvation for sinners. He lived a perfect life and died in our place. And then He rose from the dead! This is the meaning of Christmas. This is the reason we celebrate. And it sure is cause to celebrate!

God’s children are all across the Earth, in a variety of seasons and circumstances. May our hearts be grateful and generous this Christmas season as we reflect not only on our own lives, but also on the lives of others. Below is a poem I wrote entitled, “The Many Faces of Christmas.” Enjoy and Merry Christmas to all!

Cold streets, winter nights

Warm windows, wrapped with lights

Loneliness and hands that freeze

Mistletoes and sparkling trees

Santa Clause finds some, not all

Some are at the Christmas Ball

While some are huddled close together

Under bridges, facing weather

Some are warm, by a fire

Some at stores, the constant buyer

Some in Church, singing praise

Some are gone, been so for days

As you join family and friends,

Think of all the faces that Christmas lends.

And don’t complain, whatever you do

There’s always someone who has it worse than you.

Do Not Be Afraid

It is written, “Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated…” (Isaiah 54:4-5)

Why are you anxious, my precious child? Have I not promised you good things? What are you afraid of? Shame? Humiliation? Of not being good enough? Of not being able to manage the busyness of this season? Of other people? Of the direction in which this world is going? I’ll tell you again, do not be afraid!

Instead, meditate on my word. On my promises. It is your armor. And as more and more piles onto your plate, you’re going to need it. Collaborate with me as I grow the gifts that I’ve seeded within your heart. Rejoice and delight in the work that we’re doing together. I’ll say it again, rejoice! The journey only gets more exciting from here.

Beware of the devil. He prowls around like a lion, looking for someone to devour. Do not listen to his lies, which only serve to distract you and take you off course. Reject these lies and arm yourself with the Truth.

That still, calm, quiet voice that comforts and guides you, that’s me. I’m always here for you. Do not be afraid.

Uncertainty

It is written, “A man’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?” (Proverbs 20:24)

Can’t you look back now and see the ways in which I was at work during times where you felt uncertain in the past? Hindsight often allows you to see my goodness and grace with more clarity. Have I not proven that I am good and graceful?

Take comfort in knowing that the uncertainty you feel is to be expected. In fact, this uncertainty about the path before you is actually a necessary faith booster. The less certain you are, the more you must cling to me. The more you cling to me, the straighter your steps will be.

I have big plans for you! Be excited about all that I have planned for you! Trust in my ways. Hold my hand through your days. We can partake on this adventure together, just as I intended.

Until one day, we’re reunited in the physical form for all eternity. This is the hope you have to look forward to. This is the hope you are to share with the world. In the unique and specific way that only you can share it. My will in your life will be done! Nothing and no-one can stop what I have planned for you. You play an important role in my master plan.

But since you cannot understand my ways, you must walk by faith rather than sight. Clinging to the one who loves you best and knows your heart. Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.

You Can’t Understand My Ways

It is written, “A man’s mind plans his way but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.” (Proverbs 16:9)

My beloved, I’m in complete and total control of your life right now and in the future. Let this bring comfort and assurance for your weary soul. Nothing can separate you from the love I have for you. Not only do I direct your steps, but I also make your steps sure.

Let that sink in.

Let that be nourishment for your hungry, longing soul.

No, you can’t understand my ways. But you can trust and rest in my promises.

Give Thanks in All Circumstances

It is written, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Happy Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving is a funny holiday to celebrate, because we’re called to give thanks every day, in ALL circumstances. That means even when we’re in the dark, and we can’t see how God is at work, we give thanks.

Here’s a simple list to get us started. I’d love to hear what you’re thankful for, too! Let’s start with the small things, because truly, there is so much!

I’m thankful for waking up today.

For the ability to breath and walk and laugh.

I’m thankful for fresh air. That when I walk outside I feel safe.

I’m thankful for other people. Old friends with whom I share a history and strangers whom I have yet to meet.

I’m thankful that I can trust people, because I trust myself.

I’m thankful for clean drinking water and that I never have to worry about when my next meal will be.

I’m thankful that I have a warm place to sleep at night and a roof over my head…

Okay, your turn!

5 Ways to Avoid a Holidaze

The holidays are upon us and it’s the busiest time of the year! Maybe you dread this season because it’s stressful for you, or lonely, or triggering. Whatever the case may be, here’s 5 ways that you can ensure your holidays don’t become a holidaze. I hope everyone has a joyful thanksgiving!

1. Manage expectations. We can’t be everything to everyone. And we can’t be in multiple places at once. So once you have your plans in place, learn to say no. Try spacing plans out when you can, allowing yourself even more room to just be. 

2. Practice gratitude. Take time each day to recognize what you’re thankful for. Better yet, write it down. And watch how your day improves. Practicing gratitude can relieve stress and deepen joy, so why aren’t we doing this every day?!

3. Serve others. The holidays are a wonderful time to give back and help others who are less fortunate! Volunteer opportunities and donation needs abound. When we serve others, we’re less likely to become absorbed in our own problems or preoccupied with our own stressors. It’s a win win! 

4. Take time for yourself. Self care is always important, but especially so during the busy holiday season. Even taking just ten minutes a day for yourself, can do wonders for your mind. How are you supposed to be there for others, if you’re never there for yourself? 

5. Avoid hot topics. These past couple of years have left us more polarized than ever. The holidays are a time to come together, so don’t ruin them by bringing up hot topics. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, and it’s important for people to research, think critically, and form their own opinions. But the holiday table just isn’t the time or place to be sharing them. 

Be Joyful Always

It is written, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

My precious child, I love you. I love to shower blessings upon you. To listen and respond to the cries of your heart. The joy I offer can’t be taken from you. So keep your eyes on me and delight yourself in all that I am doing in your life. This way, people will see your joy and wonder where it comes from. You’ll set an example of what it’s like to know me.

Child, your faith is a gift more precious than gold. To share your faith and its fruit, is to offer a precious gift to those around you who may not yet know my joy.

I call upon you to give thanks in ALL circumstances. To be joyful ALWAYS. Because even challenging circumstances present you with the opportunity to grow closer to me. Because even in the midst of uncertainty, I am near. And I have come so that you may have life, and have it to the fullest. This is my promise to you. And my word is good.